Living My Creative Dream
Pity Party and the Creative Genius
I question whether writing on a day like today makes good sense for anyone? As the reader, you may want to sit down with a soothing cup of tea or whiskey whilst you read. Perhaps this is the day I ought to crawl in the hole I have dug and hunker down until I am well?
However ironic you find it, today is the day I must appear at a group show, Dear Disability at In-Definte Arts Society. An art and soul exhibition all about living with a disability - I have submitted two portraits, one of me with a letter to my disability, the other a beautiful soul, whom I hope to meet tonight.
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| Sneak peak at Stephanie's portrait 'Glowing Spirit' by Paula Timm |
Dear Disability Closing Reception: August 20, 2015
6:00 to 8:00 pm
Light refreshments will be provided.
In-Definite Arts 8038 Fairmount Drive SE
If you don't already know my story, I shall make it brief. I have had celiac, ulcerative colitis and brushes with Lupus. I had surgery four years ago to have my colon removed and I now have an ileostomy. Through all this, I have come to learn I also have a great case of PTSD; caused by a wrong snip during my surgery (that's putting it lightly). And yes, I go to therapy for all of this life experience.
I often coach others who live with illness, life struggles, even the common cold; my go to advice is have a Pity Party. Don't sweep everything under the rug, bring out the demons of self pity, be the sad b#5t4rd that you've earned, and do it up whole-heartedly. Be so sad, so self indulgently sad that you wring it all out of your system. You know the process is complete when you lay like a limp balloon on the ballroom floor. It works. I even had my grandmother do it. So, in her honour, that is why I have decided to write today. I am throwing a pity party in my honour.
check out this wonderful song and video...could not have done a better job myself.
I still feel sick, even though I cut out my colon. I still get ulcerative colitis flare ups and all the lovely side effects of that illness. I am run down, I am getting colds, my body is inflamed.. the list goes on. The real pity party sticking point is that this all still happens even though I cut out my colon and wear my s##t on my belly. Most days, not a pity party day, I am okay with those decisions. Most days, I feel well enough. I feel grateful enough. I feel joyful enough; but today, I celebrate the suck.
I recon if you are still reading you are one or most of the following, chronically ill, sadist, ostomate, extremely compassionate or fellow pity partier. Do comment below, I am fabulously interested in your stories..maybe not today...but on a day that I am feeling empathetic for others. AND I hope that this helps you to see that we are entitled to have crap days. Social media often spins our awesome sauce to the point of overproduced baby pablum.
I also coach with words like 'creativity heals' and other such wonderful statements. I am celebrating the pity party right now and not accessing that wise mind at the moment. However I do access the wise mind and my creative genius flows through me when I stand out of his way. Thank god for that, because I also know how to stand in it's way and slow down any creative flow, wind up in fights with myself, question my artistic ability and the meaning of life. As an artist, I know this is normal, thank god for communing with artists.
Elizabeth Gilbert: Your elusive creative genius on TED 2009
my reassuring mantra and a video I watch and share so very often!
Stay tuned for the irreverent creative Paula Timm's return and upcoming show information! AND in the meantime, thank you for your support PLEASE Throw Tomatoes after all it is a pity party :)
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